Oh Lord Please Don't Let Me Be Miss Understood

Let me drop some science right at the start. I am not a programmer. I do not have a college degree in any kind of computer science area. I don’t work for a start up, or write some famous tech blog. I am a document clerk at a mortgage company, an improviser and a writer. I spend a good chunk of my life interacting with people via this crazy thing called the internet. I am a social media junkie.

Because of all the above statements, do not assume that I am not smart. Do not assume that I am not interested in technology and the future of the world. Do not assume that certain things might be above my comprenhension. And definately don’t assume these things based on what I allow you to see of me and my personality online.

(I will admit some fault to this before continuing. I should be more conscious of how I portray myself online. It can be argued that people will only see what you show them. It can also be argued that people are bad at judging a book by it’s cover. I am working on the how I put myself out there, it’s a work in progress.)

I have always had the problem that I worry about what people think about me. It is one of my biggest demons, and I can beat it back but never really destroy it. Sometimes he is bigger than me, and I can’t ignore him. Other times he is just a nagging in my left ear. I had just reached a nice comfort level with the demon. We were respecting each other’s space, he was showing me that I need to be cautious because they are still looking. And I have learned how to tune him out. The cohabitation was working out nicely, until this weekend.

I expressed an interest in going to Gnomedex next year, there were some presentations I would have loved to have sat in on this year. Not to mention the idea of getting to meet some of the people I spend 90% of my online time with isn’t a bad shake. My “place” at such an event was questioned by a few people. With thoughts along the lines of ‘what would someone like you want with Gnomedex’. I might have gotten more upset than I needed to, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I don’t really express my interest in technology as much as I should, I guess I could outwardly focus more on that interest than the others in my life. Then again, I don’t think I should change the way I function just to make sure people perceive me a certain way. This is a crazy yo-yo to be stuck on. Anyone have a pair of scissors?


Micah Wittman said...

"Indeed, we will once again become the crossroads between producers and observers, between users and developers. — http://gnomedex.eventbrite.com/

I'm trying to think of anyone who knows what gnomedex is and yet doesn't qualify per this event description. Nope can't think of any. This has Aden written all over it :)

Fantastic post, Aden.

Oh—and the only thing I seem to do with scissors is run with them, so I'm not much help regarding yo-yo strings. Sorry.

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